I’m not the partner you need? I mean, I know I asked, but I REALLY hoped that wasn’t going to be your answer.
So these dreams are all for not? Everything we’ve been talking about over the last 2 weeks? 6 weeks? Years? All the breakthroughs we’ve had in our relationship? Was that just for you? Did I have a role in this too? Was I at home with the kids, working a job in town, toeing the line at the restaurant, what? Where was I in this?
So, today was your reminder of why we shouldn’t be in business together, huh?
I’m the problem then, huh? I’m the one dragging you down?
Your mistake is believing you need someone like yourself to be your partner. You don’t. You need the opposite, ME, to do and enjoy all things you don’t do and can’t stand. Yes, anyone could do book work just like anyone can wait tables. That’s not the point. You don’t need a ‘yes man.’ You need someone who thinks differently and will tell you’re being an idiot when you are and who also has different gifts and talents to augment your own highly developed and specialized skill set.
This really doesn’t sound like the problem is all me here does it? The more I write and then read and then re-write, the more it is obvious to me that you hold no respect for me in the industry and, by association, as a business partner. I am not perfect (and sometimes only just passable in some things I have to do for the business) and I don’t know everything. You seem to though. Dang it! Every stinkin’ time we have this stupid old argument, you always seem to know best and nothing I say or do or know or think measures up. Your way or the highway?
I don’t see it. I think what needs to happen is you need to learn to work with me and I with you. I am not your opponent. I AM ON YOUR TEAM. I have your back. Every stinkin’ time. I am in your corner. Your Dad didn’t believe it of his wife, will you? I want you to succeed and be happy. I want us to succeed and be happy together, both at work and at home. We are all on the same side.
I like working with you most of the time. I would rather spend the rest of my life with you in any endeavor we chose than anywhere else, doing anything else, for anyone else.
I feel like you are so close to being that team captain that leads the team to nationals that I can taste it. I see the big win at the end of the season of back breaking work and commitment and I want it! I want to trust you. I want to see you be the man and leader you were intended to be but left at the wayside 10 years ago. I want to follow you. I do! I just don’t trust you 100% yet. Is it OK for me to be cautions? Is it OK to ask and question and analyze? You see fear, but I see caution. And I have had a lot of disappointments in my life when I’ve trusted others to lead. The only way I know to protect myself is to be cautious. Slow it down. That was my only tool in my arsenal when dealing with my parent’s leadership. As a pretty much a powerless minority partner, the only control I had on their leadership was talking and questioning and talking some more. I didn’t have a veto. I am feeling that way again. Like my role is again to slowing down the train enough to ask where we’re going and who’s coming with us and how are we paying for it. Is that what you mean when you say I am holding you back?
But do you see how far I’ve come? Can you give me that? I have come so far in my relationship with you! Even in the last 6 months, I have opened up and learn to trust you in ways I have never trusted and exposed heart and soul to anyone. Ever. Can I have some grace too? Can we have a learning curve here? One day of reality and everything we’ve dreamed for the last few day is tossed to the wind? I think I deserve more than that. More importantly, I think WE deserve more than that.